When I was pregnant & waiting to meet my little girl, I used to wish her a life without heartache. Since then, I’ve changed my mind. I want her to know trials; & that statement probably won’t win me any mom of the year awards.

There’s a lot of tragedy in this world. It can drive a person to have a pessimistic outlook and for some to commit suicide. There’s also people overcoming the tragedy. I want my daughter to become one of those people. I’m not so naive to think nothing will ever happen to her. Those hardships & obstacles that people face are what build character. I want to know she can make it in this world. I don’t want her to grow up to be naive or have a god complex, thinking nothing can touch her. Nor do I want her to buckle at the knees with the first sign of trouble.

I want her to know success. I want her to feel accomplished when she overcomes an obstacle. I want her to know compassion & have empathy for others. I want her to know how lucky she is to be living even when she’s suffering. I want her to have faith that good will persevere over evil. I want her to be able to smile & genuinely wish her worst enemy a good day because she feels sorry that person can’t–won’t–choose to be happy.

And I want her to know heartache. I want her to know just how good love can be. I don’t want her to take it for granted & I want her to know how to walk away if she is being taken for granted. I want her to know how to respect others & recognize when she is not being respected. I want her to have pride in herself & in where she came from without being egotistical. I want her to have a backbone & an unwavering faith in herself. I want her to feel secure in her future but understand that life happens, shit happens, & people have bad days.

When she is at her wits end, because everyone has a limit to the number of bad days they can handle, I want her to be able to tie a knot & hold the hell on. I want her to swing from that rope like a kid & take a leap of faith into the chilling water of reality; & when she comes to the surface for a breath of fresh air she becomes so sure of herself that she can survive, that she is surviving, & that she wants to survive.

Lord help me, I want her to know some heartache, I do. More importantly, I want her to have the strength to survive it.