It amazes me how people are unable to move on from circumstances that have no negative effect on them; how people are still upset that Caitlyn Jenner won the Arthur Ashe Award. I have seen a number of posts regarding the outrage people feel on the matter, how it wasn’t a courageous act, how the real heroes are the people who fight overseas or battle cancer; but courage and hero are vast encompassing terms. They are not reserved to a career, battle, or lifestyle. They are not reserved to age or gender.

I had a professor in college who was my hero because of how much my writing improved through taking his classes and his encouragement for me to continue writing. One of my best friends is my hero because despite her doubt in her strength, she survives everything life throws at her. Another friend is my hero because of how well he changed his life around. My mother is my hero because of everything she gave up for my brother. My dad is my hero, period.

I can only hope one day my daughter thinks of me as her hero.

What Caitlyn did may not have been the most courageous act on the planet but for some kids struggling with accepting who they are or struggling with acceptance from others, her receiving that award was exactly what they needed. I remember hearing how a past friend of mine attempted suicide after coming out. There are people who don’t like the publicity behind her changing of genders, arguing she did it for the fame. I highly doubt someone would ever make such a life altering decision based on fame, but you know what? I am glad she has the money and connections to make her decision public. Her being in the spotlight, willingly taking hits from cyber bullies and society, and not allowing herself to be negatively effected, is heroic. She is setting a prime example for kids who are fighting with acceptance. Let her be a mascot for the LGBT community. I hate to break it to some of you, but it won’t cause anyone harm—and it could just save a life. I don’t want to hear about more kids attempting or committing suicide because the struggle is too much for them, because society won’t accept them for being themselves, because they feel alone in this world.

The worst is those who will throw my daughter in my face as an ingredient in their argument: Do you want your daughter to be gay? Would you really be okay with a gay couple adopting your daughter if something happened to you? Oh, how the questions keep coming. For the record, I want my daughter to be happy. We tell kids to be themselves but then set these parameters. I want her to be proud of who she becomes. If sixteen years down the road, she comes to me and tells me she likes girls, I hope she comes to me unafraid and knowing I will always love her. Further, I don’t ever want her to think I love her despite such a lifestyle; I want her to know I love her for who she is.

If something happened to me tomorrow and there wasn’t any relative to take her in, you better believe I’m okay with a gay couple adopting her. I have heard arguments against gays adopting based on the need for both gender roles represented in the household. Do people realize they are offending single parents everywhere? As a single mother, I find this greatly insulting. The sexuality of a couple does not provide for whether the child in that home will be loved and cared for. There are a number of straight parents who abuse their children. Trust me when I say the sexuality of the caretaker would be my last priority.

Lastly, I am sorry to disappoint, but it is within the heterosexual parent household that the homosexual child was born. I will assume you know the basics of how a child is conceived, but I have never heard of two males having sex and producing a baby, let alone a gay baby. So please, stop. Then, of course, there are the religious folks making arguments of since only a heterosexual couple can conceive a baby, God obviously is against it. I hope you use that same argument for the heterosexual couple who are unable to conceive a child because of some condition, and hear how loud their devastation and overwhelming their sadness reigns. I hope they slap you when you tell them God is against them being parents, and I hope I’m there to witness it.

People keep making these arguments and I keep hoping that one day they understand the meaning and repercussions behind their words. They are never just words. Maybe it’s because I’m such an avid reader or because I find comfort in writing that I love how one can string together a few words to portray an emotion perfectly. I find it miraculous when another writer can perfectly express my feelings. However, I also find it devastating when people inappropriately convey a message without thinking about everything they are saying. People are welcome to have their own opinion, the definition allows for the differences, but it’s not okay when these opinions contain offensive language and are given out of spite, when they are drenched in cruel intentions.

We are human and we are flawed, and I firmly believe that it is okay to be uncomfortable with a situation. However, your being uncomfortable is not an excuse to be hateful or intolerant. Sometimes, it simply means you need to get over yourself.