The latest dating news: I’m high maintenance. Label courtesy of a guy I’ve never met.

Last weekend a guy I hadn’t even talked to much wanted to meet up, and by meet up I mean he wanted me to drive 45 minutes or so to his house. When I told him I don’t meet guys for the first time at their place of residence, the conversation went downhill fast. It’s simply not something I’m comfortable with when I first meet the guy off a dating app. I’m a mom. A policeman’s daughter. I’m not stupid. It’s a rule of mine to meet the guy in a public place—isn’t this normal? Let’s be honest, even if the guy was to drive to me, I don’t want him knowing where I live.

So we got in a little argument.

His defense: He’d meet me outside and we’d drive into downtown together. Apparently, it’s what “normal people” do. Good thing I’ve never cared to be “normal.”

He continued to say, and I’ll quote because yes, he asked me out via social media not via a phone call so I actually still have the message (I really need to learn to delete things regularly): “And no, I’m sorry but you’re to much and to high maintenance. You live at home and have a child, which nothing wrong with that. But damn, you’re way to high maintenance lol geez.”

1. Glad he uses the proper “you’re” so props there.
2. It’s too bad he can’t get the to vs. too straight.

You can bet your ass I told him he doesn’t stand a chance with me….after I may have told him if that’s his definition of high maintenance then he’s a little too selfish for me. Like I said, I’m a mom. I’ve already dealt with a few crazies. I do try to be smart about dating, no matter how dumb my choices in guys I seem to go after.

Is this real life, though? How many folks are willing to meet someone for the first time at home, without having much of a conversation with them prior? It’s a crazy concept to me. I can understand if you have mutual friends or you’ve been talking for a few weeks and have stalked them on social to verify or met in public prior or have roommates over when arrives…but hello hives and twisted gut. Maybe I’ve heard too many human trafficking stories and read too many crime novels, watched one too many Criminal Minds episodes.

Not to mention there’s that last blog post where I said the guy would have to prove himself. I wasn’t joking. Like hell I’m driving 45 minutes last minute—oh yes, forgot that detail, he really set himself up for failure here—to meet a guy at 9pm who hasn’t tried to hold a conversation prior to meeting. I’d rather be asleep or reading.

So here’s my latest dating thought and tip, from a girl who’s notoriously single: wait. Just wait for the person who is willing to work with you. Whether it’s to meet up for the first time or years into the relationship. Wait. You should want to give in to the person you’re committed to, make sacrifices for them, but they should simultaneously be wanting to do the same thing. It’s that selfless love that lasts, or so I like to believe. Wait for the person who wants to understand how your mind works and works to break down your defenses. When you meet a guy for the first time, it’s often the best impression you’ll get from them. Sometimes it’s just an impression, an act. Other times, if you’re lucky, it’s a glance into who they really are and a future.

Wait for the one who is willing to put you first and let you shine. Who wants to dream alongside you and know you fearlessly. If the guy really wants to meet you, he won’t force you into an uncomfortable situation. Wait for the one who is willing to wait for you (but don’t keep him waiting for long because then you’re the asshole).